Mattresses
by neon-watches
Summary: There's a theif in Dalton Academy and they're taking all the mattresses! Can the Warblers get to the bottom of it or will they become a bit...distracted?


Disclaimer: oh, Ryan Murphy of course!

Summary: I just couldn't help myself.

The occupants of the Windsor house were enjoying a relaxing evening in the common room. Well, almost. It had started out quiet and peaceful but then that bass started thumping from somewhere in the building and nobody could think straight. Then, Nick and Jeff had burst in claiming that their mattresses were missing. The other boys had given them puzzled looks but fled to their rooms, just in case. Everybody's mattresses were gone. That cursed bass had gotten louder.

"Okay everybody calm down!" Wes struggled to gain control of the common room that was filled with concerned students. When he had everyone's attention he began to talk.

"Now, there's probably some rational explanation as to why everyone's mattresses are missing." That damn bass boomed louder, causing Wes' eyebrow to twitch.

"Also does anybody know where that irritating bass is coming from?" Ethan raised his hand.

"I know where the mattresses went." He smirked.

"Where?" Wes asked.

"Same place the bass is coming from." Evan replied smugly.

"And where might that be?" the council member inquired impatiently. The twins exchanged glances.

"Follow us."

That's how Wes, David Jeff, Nick, Blaine, Thad, Reed, Trent, and Cody ended up trailing behind the twins through the halls of Dalton. They came to a halt outside the choir room and the boys all cringed at how loud the music was. Ethan grinned evilly.

"You think you guys can handle this?" he asked. Evan started laughing and the boys nodded.

"Alright then." And with that he opened the doors. Ridiculous would not even begin to describe the scene before them. All of the mattresses had been stacked by threes and spread around the room. Brittney Spears was blasting from the stereo, but that wasn't even the craziest part. Kurt, Brittany, Santana, and Quinn were doing some sort of acrobatic routine, flipping from one mattress stack to another as Mercedes, Tina and Rachel cheered them on. Every time Brittney sang:

_I'm a- slaaaaaaaave for you. _

The three girls and Kurt would stop where they were and pretend to swoon in the most dramatic way possible. Then they returned to jumping around. The Warblers watched in amusement, completely forgetting the reason they came in the first place. They smiled as their fellow classmate belted out Brittney and went spiraling through the air.

"Is Kurt wearing-?" Blaine asked in disbelief, too shocked to even finish the sentence. The countertenor was wearing a cheerleading uniform. A _girl's _uniform, exactly like the other girls'. Blaine blushed. Every time Kurt moved, he flashed the soloist an eyeful of red knickers.

_No! _He scolded himself as his imagination began to wander up Kurt's toned legs and flat stomach. _Very un-dapper!_

When the song ended, the four cheerleaders flopped down on their mattresses, too tired to notice their audience.

"Brit, I think this is the best idea you've ever had." Kurt panted.

"You just like wearing a skirt, Kurt." Santana said. Quinn giggled.

"That rhymed."

"So what if I do." The boy retorted. "They're freeing." Santana lifted her head to look at him.

"You know Porcelain, with those legs, you could totally pass as a girl." Kurt blushed.

"So I've been told." Quinn laughed.

"Yea, a girl flatter than a fourth grader!"

"Who needs boobs when you've got an ass like mine?" the brunette joked with a smirk.

The Warblers snickered as Blaine noticed he had been subconsciously nodding his head. A pink blush traveled up his face.

"Touchez." Quinn said.

"Yo do a basket toss!" called Mercedes. The girls cheered and immediately ran over to the mattress Kurt was lying on.

"Come on!" Brittany said eagerly and pulled him to his feet.

"Ready? One. Two. Three!" The Cheerios tossed Kurt into the air effortlessly and he somersaulted before landing safely in the girls' arms. Mercedes, Tina and Rachel cheered.

"Kurt are you _sure _you aren't a girl?" Tina asked. The pale boy rolled his eyes.

"I'm definitely sure."

"It's too bad Blaine doesn't play football." Rachel laughed.

Blaine's ears perked up at the sound of his name.

"How come?"

"Well think about it," Quinn teased, "he could be the quarterback and you the head cheerleader." Kurt blushed and attempted to shove the blonde girl off of the mattress.

Blaine's cheeks burned with delight and embarrassment when Jeff nudged him.

"All right no fighting!" Mercedes chuckled. Then she popped a CD into the stereo. "Rock this Kurt!" The countertenor grinned when he heard the opening beat.

"Holla Back Girl? Really 'Cedes?" Mercedes laughed and nodded.

"Do that dance you made up in freshmen year." The girls looked at him suspiciously.

"What dance?" Brittany asked. Kurt blushed and started the dance. They all giggled and cheered as Kurt started shaking his hips furiously and Blaine thought he was going to melt at the sight. The boy grinned teasingly, running his hands up and down his body in a sultry way. He slapped his butt and twirled around, gyrating his hips in time with the music.

Blaine was pretty sure he didn't even blink. He would never forget the look in Kurt's eyes as he shook his hips. Baby Penguin his ass.

Kurt finished the performance with a split and smiled at the cheers and whistles he was receiving. That is, until he realized the girls weren't the ones whistling.

"Uh, hey- uh guys." The brunette stammered. Wes smirked.

"Hey Kurt. Care to explain why nobody can find their mattresses?" Kurt flushed nervously but before he could reply, Brittany cut in.

"We were practicing Cheerios and we lent Kurt one of our uniforms and turns out he has sexy lady legs." Brittany pulled up Kurt, who was trying to cover up as much of his legs as possible with the short skirt. She lifted up the garment, revealing Kurt's pale legs and the red uniform underwear.

"Brittany!" He squealed. His face was beet red from embarrassment. Blaine stood frozen. He couldn't take his eyes off of Kurt. The boys chuckled at the countertenor's obvious discomfort and Wes shook his head.

"Just keep the music down and return everybody's mattresses before ten." Kurt nodded, wishing he could just disappear. They were all staring at him so openly. Especially Blaine. After they left Kurt flopped face down onto the mattress.

"Oh gosh that was mortifying!" he cried. Quinn rubbed his back.

"I don't know about you, but I think that boy with the gelled hair in the back started drooling when he saw you." Kurt smiled up at her.

"I don't know about you, but you can keep the jocks. I'm more of a music kind of girl." The girls started laughing and turned the music back on.


End file.
